Red Sox get a Kix out of their Cocoa Crisps

The Red Sox are fruity for their Fruit Loops. Er, Count Chocula. Or was that Cocoa Crisp? Either way, they love the sugary sweet guy from Cleveland they acquired in January. Don’t be confused with Crispix from Cincy, Cream of Wheat from Toledo or the cousin to the first, Crispix w/Wheat & Rasins. The Red Sox were 100% Bran sure they’d get him by dangling the Product 19’s of their farm system, Triples Andy Marte, and Kelly Shoppach, and possibly, Manny DelCarmen. Guillermo Mota convinced Cleveland that his arm was nothing more than Shredded Wheat (spoon size), but took him anyway. What a Kix in the crotch that was to the Sox when Cleveland first rejected him. Captain Crunch, also known as general manager Mark Shapiro, wanted to Frosted Flake the deal with more inticing Corn Pops. I was 100% Natural Bran against sending DelCarman. I thought the deal was Just Right Crunchy Nuggets with the proposed Sweeties already on the table. Holy Great Grains & Pecan! Cleveland without Cocoa Crisp is like Cornflakes without the milk. The accepted deal was Just Right Fruit & Nutty! Manny DelCarmen shouldn't be the second coming of Special K, but he’s got the Smacks to deliver. And while Cocoa Crisp is a Basic 4 tool player, giving up DelCarman would come back to haunt them. Imagine Cleveland facing the Sox in August and DelCarmen throwing so hard the ball looks like Fruity Pebbles. Here's hoping that Crisp can help win it all by hitting Apple Jacks in Clusters. Cheerios to the Indians post season dreams. That’s Life. The Sox go on to win the series and once again adorn a Wheaties Box. So while I watch the Sox this summer with my Honey Comb, when she’s not turning Trix, we will be going Fruit Loopy over Golden Crisp, Oatmeal Raisin Crisp, Rice Krispy, or whatever his name is. That's if the season doesn't quickly turn to Maypo.
The Total Whole Grain Flake,
Tommy Donovan from Hooksett